Sunday, October 31, 2004
what a day after yesterday---so warm and beautiful and now so cold and dreary. the leaves are golden and red and the lake is full of whitecaps and the sky is gray. today is the last day of oct. hard to believe this year is flying by so fast. had a great morning with the Lord---just reflecting now on the sweetness of knowing Him. heading to church soon. blessed to have so much to be thankful for. the election will be over in 2 days---i think we are all so saturated with every complaint or issue each candidate has with the other. you almost don't even care who gets elected at this point---just get it over with. wonder how much difference it makes anyway---the power is huge in the hands of the one's in government. we still live in a great land with so much to be thankful for.
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
It has surely been a season for my family. my mom has stage 4 lung cancer with mets to the brain and is in chemo now. we are hoping for some good time for her in the days to come as she finishes chemo this week. my sister and sister-in-law exchanged a kidney this last week and the new home is doing well. to see someone who has been very toxic from the waste products still floating around makes you thankful for a body that is getting rid of them. i think this season has taught me more about the fraility of our body. i am aware of the spirit in my mom especially. she glows in her eyes---an eternal glow. somehow the decaying body seems heavier and more like she has to drag it with her. i can see that eternal life and the new body will be more glorious than i ever really thought about before. my mom has such joy about heaven. i am looking more and more forward to that time---seeing those who have gone on before also. seems like people don't think alot about heaven or after this life much till they don't really have a choice. working in hospice has powerfully affected my life. true north is about that---living a real day---like it is a gift-not missing it. nor wasting it. doesn't mean you are too busy or distracted or just getting through it---but making the minute count. i am thankful for this day. a day with my mom and my aunt and my brother---just sitting and talking and watching the chemo go in my mom's arm---hoping it is killing off the cancer so she can have some more good time---and just enjoying the days we have left.
Saturday, October 16, 2004
Thursday, October 14, 2004
It is raining tonight and am just home from meeting with an incredible group of women who are seekers for the truth and kingdom life. My mom was there tonight-she has end stage lung cancer with metastasis to her brain. I realized that sometime in the near future she will not be with us. Tonight many of the women talked about her peace she carries with her. I was so proud of her as she shared her faith with them. The others just said she radiates joy. She smiled. I just was glad to have her as my mom. I am proud of her. Took her home and helped her walk up in and up the stairs to her room. Helped her change and get ready for bed. She is becoming frail, but her spirit is so strong. I again was grateful for the opportunity to be beside her and help her. We prayed before I left to head home and she just soaked up the words of my simple prayer over her. I prayed that God would touch and heal her and fill her with all she needs to live each day along with filling her with joy and confidence. As I drove home, I was aware that someday in the near future, I will not drive home from her house. I was again grateful for this season---and grateful to have the gift of this time with her. It is something to walk alongside someone dying. It makes you look at how you are living and what is of value in your life. I am again grateful.