Friday, December 30, 2005

End of a year, beginning of another 2006

Amazes me how fast time is going by. I just read tonight that it was 6 years ago right now that we were all so concerned about Y2K. I remember thinking that it really was alot about nothing---really was not worried at all. Was wondering what the worst that could happen?? People were so afraid.
The longer I am here, the less I want to worry. I have worried at certain times in my life more than others, for many different reasons. Worry got me nowhere. I really believe leaning into the Father and trusting Him to be there is the best. I hope to practice that more and more in my life this coming year.
We just finished another Christmas without our mom. It was quiet in some ways. We are all trying to make new traditions and all. I did have Sarah and Christopher and Susan over on Christmas eve day and we celebrated well. It was just a wonderful day. We had a good brunch, hottubbed and gifts and a nap before they had to head on. It was a good first time we have done that.
Tonight all of us gathered at Tim's home to have gifts for the kids. They all seemed to have such a good time this year. We took all the traditional pictures of everyone, that was fun to see the changes. It was good to have Barb here too. She needs us and we need her. We all quietly missed our mom, sister, grandma this year. I miss her right now too. Somedays can hardly believe I can't just pick up the phone and call her. I really don't know how people live without the hope of seeing them again. I really love thinking about my mom and dad and sister greeting me in heaven. I love to know about heaven-it has to be so much greater than I could ever even imagine.
Well, another year is right ahead of me. I hope to press into goals and questions soon-and begin to really ponder and carve out the beginnings of what is in my heart to give my time and energy to this year. I hope to become much more healthy, paint more, teach more, give more talks, lean more into ministry, enjoy the water and vacation and spend more time with my family. Gets more simpler the older I am getting. I don't have any desire to go after it anymore. I hope to see more settling of the areas of sadness too in all our lives.
Thankful to get to live and step into another year-what a gift. Thank you God.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Truly Christmas is coming

Truly it is almost Christmas. Just celebrated the first Thanksgiving without my parents---we are now the oldest, with the exception of aunts and uncles. We did well. Even shopped 12 hours on the day after Thanksgiving and did it well-it was Susy's 43 birthday and she made the day a joy!! She took her time throughout the day and loved seeing santa and the marine's collecting money and the waiters who sang to her for her birthday, she took time to hug each of them-even kissed the older marine guy---thanked him. I loved watching her live simply and gently. Sometimes I wonder who is retarded? She seems to live in a zone that I miss so much of the time with all the busyness and craziness of my world and all the demands. She is so much better than a year ago when mom was so sick. She was so terribly depressed.
It is good to see her laughing and having a good time. Funny how fast this year has gone. I know we each miss mom alot-each of us in our own way and special place. There are so many times each of us has wanted to call her and talk to her. Funny though, I have such peace that she is with dad and Nancy and God. It comforts me, I surely look forward to heaven. Where do others hope? Thank you Father for your hope-it is so great, so eternal.
Susan B. is slowly recovering from a major bleed in her brain almost 6 weeks ago. It has impacted so many people, we have so faithfully prayed. She is now recovering. I guess this will happen more and more the older we all get. In the midst of this aging thing, I want to live fully and well---to embrace the moments, to dance when no one is watching-to sing, to play, to paint, to embrace the one's I love. Thank you for the ones in my life who are so important to me. I am grateful.