Thursday, March 30, 2006

Creeping into April

It is 2 days before a new month. I am excited to see spring this year. I am always excited to see spring-the buds, the flowers, the leaves, the birds, the warmth that accompanies it all. One of these days, I won't be around for spring-at least here, so each time it comes around now-I appreciate it more.
Today at work, and again, I work at a hospice home care team---we had a remembrance service for our losses---personally and professionally. It was just so powerful. We did a weaving on 2 pieces of ribbon we individually picked out. We had a long piece and a shorter piece. We got to write whatever we wanted on both and then all 30 of us went up one at a time and first put down all the long pieces and then went back and did the shorter ones. Hope that makes sense. There were wonderful colors of ribbons--and all had sacred words written by each person. The one woman who is an art therapist will eventually frame this for our team. Then we went outside and did a balloon launch while words were read. I thought of my mom--and picked a beautiful blue balloon for her. As I let go--I watched the balloon dip and then soar. I watched it with tears streaming down my face till I could see it no more. It has been a year and 3 months since mom departed here. I missed her today as fiercely as I have in days past. But seeing that balloon spin off to a far place brought a sense of adventure---she is probably having a blast~and I will release her at a new level today. Thanks mom, for all you left with me---so many wonderful memories and all. I am grateful today.

It is truly spring---there are many kids heading to the beach tonight to have the first party of the year. The bonfires start tonight! Music, play, it all begins again. I will savor it again this year and be so grateful to have the new season.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Isn't he the most handsome guy!!  Posted by Picasa

Harry and I summer of 2005 Posted by Picasa

Thursday, March 16, 2006

green pushing up through the ground

I am excited, I see spring pushing its way back into the world. The birds seem to be flying back in in packs, saw my first robin this week, the gulls are singing every morning--yippee!! I am ready. I am smelling it in the air. I can't wait to hang out in the hammock and sink my toes into the warm sand again. I know that Harry-my lab- is more than ready for some water time.
I know that winter has served its purpose this year in my life. I have slowed down and practiced some hibernation. I think I am trying to pay more attention to what the season is doing and mirror it in my soul. I have needed rest and have rested. I want to now go into spring but carry the season of rest into it--and savor it like a grand glass of merlot.

I wish I knew what I wanted to be when I grow up. I am still searching for the fullness that brings me such joy...but wonder if that could truly happen. How come others have this ah ha moment and say--this is all I ever wanted to do and am content. I find myself getting restless when I get unchallenged by something new. The spring will bring some of that to me too-like what new things to explore and discover---I hate to be bored and not discovering new things. I want to have a good vacation this year, but more than that--to have a fullness in my life each day. I hope to discover some new things right within the 25 miles around me.

Well, it is late, need to sleep. Had a good art class tonight. Had a good class today at work on cumulative grief. Just talked about making sure we don't keep adding to the things that lay in our heart hurting. I pray Father tonight that my heart would be light and that if I have carried any things lingering that is time to lay down, that you will reveal it to me and help me to release it to you to go into the new day with a clean heart and a free heart. Thank you Father that you make all things new-just again---like spring!

Thursday, March 02, 2006

March came in like a lion

Just am plain tired of the snow and cold. Really hasn't been a bad winter at all-just am ready to be outside more and enjoying the warm. Wonder if we will all move to a warmer place someday? Everyone is on a cruise in the caribbean right now but me and my one brother and his wife who are in Florida---what was I thinking--staying here...hummmm....will plan better in the future.
It is grey and cold, sleeting and snowing. I am on my way out again to art class--even with it being that way, it will be good to create. I think that with the winter so still here, art is a good way to be creating a different place to be for a few hours.
Nothing real serious on my mind---want to live this day well. Tired of snow. Need sun. ugh. Guess the space I am in is itching for a new season. Wonder if it reflects my inner heart? Change is on the horizon I feel. I wait on you Father for you author the seasons in life as well as my heart.