Monday, July 31, 2006

Summer projects

Today is truly day one of a 2 week vacation and I dug into cleaning my garage-which hasn't been touched in 2 years since I moved in here. I am truly on a time apart for this vacation, not the normal trip somewhere, but staying right here and digging into my own vacation spot. I am truly seeking God for alot of clarity right now for the next season in my life and the garage seemed to be pretty reflective of my life---it is all there, not sure what is there or which box all the things I have treasured and gathered are in---what is left after 54 years of moving and storing and losing things and gathering things.

Wow, what a day it has been. First of all, I still have many of the things my dear Sarah has gathered and stored from her childhood--so that was a trip down memory lane for me. Found her strawberry shortcake cup, her cocoa mug, ice cream cone cup along with all the needle point pictures I made, as well as her treasures she made me...and all her papers from school, gradecards-trophies, t-shirts, dressup clothes, videos of volleyball games, boyfriends, proms, and on and on...what a trip down memory lane....

Then there is all my stuff---from my own childhood--autograph books, year books, china, coffee cup collections, country stuff, pictures upon pictures--trips to France and Cape cod--gratitude journals, stuff from mom and gram, gifts, candles, gardening stuff...marriage stuff...videos from family reunions and all...more cassette tapes than I will ever go through---CDs, and on and on....

So, here I am in Joe's garage--he is gone, I am sweeping and cleaning a garage that probably would have been ours if we would have stayed odd to me....and still have our daughter's stuff here...just touched me...deeply.

I didn't get more clarity about the season ahead, but have a feeling we need to look back and touch the memories before we can push off from shore. Today, I lingered and touched many places--and it was sweet. I have healed, I feel whole. I am grateful...I am not sad any more.

Jesus, I know you have all the days ahead in your hands. I am grateful to know that. I am peaceful and content in the life behind. I do long to fully live the rest of my life-where and how you would have me to do. I wait on you. Thank you Father, for your gift of my many memories---so many that never ever did resolve, but I know you hold those too...and will purpose them out someday--even if it isn't till heaven.

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