Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Just minute by minute

It is Oct. 24, almost one month since my dear Sarah died tragically after getting hit by the wave in Cinque Terra, Italy. It has been such a month of things to walk through and go through. I am trying minute by minute to live. To breathe, to go on.
I am watching her dear husband Christopher do the same. Trying to find a purpose in the midst of this loss to move us to the next minute. To believe we will see her again in heaven. To know she is doing well-and free in this new eternal land. So many things to believe by faith--to know that on this side of heaven, there is no more of memories, no more talking, shopping, gardening, playing, hanging out, no babies, no laughter...no more of any of it. Ugh...so hard. So depressing...so hard to move to the next minute.
God, I need to know she is there--and so alive in her spirit. Looking at her body empty of life, no spirit, no "Sarah" being present was the hardest thing...to see her lifeless, still...quiet....broken. Now to try to imagine that spirit in Your presence..full of life and joy and being...and that I too will see her again in the most glorious place of heaven.
Help us who are left, find purpose and calling and reason to press on to this high calling...to not get distracted by living in the margin, but to live like we will not fail, not less, but more---not small but large. Help me to know where to place my feet. How to walk this out. Help me be an example to YOU and all you are. Help others to know you and to come into a full relationship with you. Help us to not be afraid, to trust you and lean more and more into you.
Here is the link to her myspace--- http://www.myspace.com/yugabanuch

What a joy she has been to me. My dearest of friends and my dearest daughter. Help me to remember her beauty, inside and out. She touched so many people, she sowed much into her short life. I am deeply proud of her and can hear her also saying---Hey mom, Live!!!

One of her favorite quotes was: "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming, "Wow, what a ride!"

The President of the Cinque Terra penned this poem for her:

"She came from Ohio, to our paradise
From far away the sea, saw her, smiled at her.
The beloved groom, the Via Dell ' Amore,
dreams that come true, her heart beat strongly.
The beloved Cinque Terre from school days,
Riomaggiore, Manarola......
....a white cloud, the halo of a star, embraced Sarah, and thus she becomes even more beautiful.

Franco Bonanini

God has blessed us so much in this past month-many friends, cards, love, care...come Lord and help us to continue to walk this out to your Glory.

1 comment:

karen gerstenberger said...

I love this poem for Sarah. I love your prayers; they are just as true today as they were then. Love to you!