Thursday, November 08, 2007

Days of grey

It has been 6 weeks ago that Sarah died. It has been the most difficult journey I have ever taken so far in my life. This picture was taken in the Cinque Terra with the 2 of them before her death.
I am speechless for words to adequately describe this journey of loss. I know that dear Christopher also has the same loss of words for his journey of the terrible loss of his wife.
In this, we have seen incredible ways that God has moved to bring more clarity and purpose to many of those traveling this road with us. People living more intentionally. It stops one in their tracks-this type of tragic loss.
I yearn more to go to heaven than ever before. I read Hebrews 13 and want to run fast---towards that place-where there is no more pain, nor sorrow, nor tears, nor death. I am numb. I am lost without my dear daughter to call and tell and talk everything over with. I am missing the many calls during the day with no reason other than to one to make future plans for all the things we loved to do. It is hard to think about trying to do any of them again--and not be sad.
I know that many walk this road-and their steps are slowed for a long time.
I pray that God will help both of us--and all the other dear ones who are also grieving--to have the hope of heaven like never before--to press on, to hope in Jesus. To not grieve as one without hope. She was my bright one--a shining joy that will be so missed. I can hardly stand it in some moments....
May our dear Lord help us all. She will be sorely so many. I am thankful to have had her as my child. In just 11 days, she would have turned 29...and that is even odd---does she always stay 28 now....would have been..... Death is hard--not right, not fair...
ugh...some days are not made for any sense. Those are the days of grey.


LinkinDuncan said...

i dreamt about you last night. I was walking through an old house of yours and looking for you. I couldn't find you. I then started looking for things that belonged to you to see if you were there, or even lived there. I found a journal and opened it but there was nothing in there. Then today I find this. Kinda weird.
I can't stop thinking/grieving about your loss.

christine said...

Hi-tell me who you are-I don't know?