Wednesday, November 11, 2009

just cuz i don't write doesn't mean i am missing...just pondering

here it is, just a week before what would have been sarah's 31st birthday. the ache is present in my heart as it always is....
have been asked to preach in dec. and to talk a bit about the birth of Jesus from Mary's perspective. so, alot in my mind about a woman who was chosen to bear the son of Man and to ponder so much all her life and then to continue walking out her life after He was gone--even if it all made sense then to her as she saw Him in his resurrected body.

i want to walk out the rest of my life with faith of knowing it is true. God, help me and others who share this common faith to walk this well, to know it is not all in vain and to have a brokenness in our hearts that lays us down...for the count.

God, come and touch all the one's I have met in this journey--even the women of late who have lost their older children, and are so sore at heart. It is such an honor to walk alongside each of them.

My inner thoughts are deep within me more of late, and don't seem to be stirred to the surface right now...not sure quite why...just is...harder for some reason, not sure what...to talk...to visit the sorrow...to go to the place...

i ponder much though...deep in my heart...deep in my heart.

7 comments:

Linda said...

Chris: My heart is with you as you remember your dear sweet daughter on what would have been her 31st birthday. Your journey is a difficult one but you have the strength and the support of those who love you. You will go on-for yourself and for Sarah! You can help so many others.

christine said...

thanks Linda---dear words from you to me...

Karen said...

Dear Chris,
It is a strange journey, and like you I want to walk it in faith. Your daughter is so close in age to my son in Heaven, I often closely identify with what you write. Your hope and faith are contagious...just so you know.
Peace and blessings on you.

Dawn ~ BJSMomma said...

I loved this post....you spoke what my heart feels.

A fellow traveler

Gannet Girl said...

Rough days ahead, I know ~ many prayers with you, sweet and loving mother to Sarah.

Ruth said...

Chris you don't know me...but we lost our son Jeremy in 2008 in Australia to a rogue wave. He and his friends were at a rocky shoreline which has a small beach - he was showing them where he wanted to propose to Christina. The boys (Jesse and Jeremy) started walking on the rocks and a rogue wave washed them into the ocean. It took the rescue workers 45 minutes to rescue Jesse but they never found our son. Jeremy worked with YWAM in Australia and before going to Egypt in 2005 he put Philippians 1:21 on his chest (tatoo) which is, "for to me to live is Christ to die is gain". You can read about our story at onetwentyone.com and at the top there is a tab About 1.21 and The Story. Would love to hear from you...my email is (darryl7734@yahoo.com)

Dawn ~ BJSMomma said...

Thinking of you and praying for you today...I will take your daughter with me today...say her name out loud into the atmoshpere here in Delaware while THANKING & PRAISING God...this is not it!. I am so PROUD to know atmoshpere changers, and also happy & PROUD to be the mother of one as well.

God's love & prescence to you today.
Dawn