Tuesday, September 29, 2015

maybe tomorrow will start better

how in the world does it ever make sense.

i got up, the alarm went off...i started the day like the other days, only it wasn't another day...it is today and today followed days of remembering...and i had to work for the first time in 8 years on the days after instead of the time to rest...and recover...and my heart hurt and my body ached..and i just decided the morning needed more bed time, time in my Father's arms to rest.

so i did...and i still haven't quite stood back up...and flying is definitely out of the picture today.

this journey is slow and steady...and carefully navigating the moments and listening to a sore heart...of sorrow...and missing.

i am better---what the hell does that mean?  better.....

but i am more....
more able to walk....
i think....
my mind doesn't just default to crash and burn....
i know many walking along and know that they have probably slowed their steps to wait till i get my footing...as i wait for them when they loose theirs...

so today, gentle day...
soft air, soft thoughts.
put things away...back to a new place...let life slowly slip back in.  my full life i am trying hard to live well...with hope.

a hope that has nothing to do with this world...a hope of an eternal kingdom to come---with a fullness and LIFE that is not to be seen in my failing eyes, but i strain to peer through the thin veil...and see...because i have had touches from that land, my Father...
sometimes even think my girl.

so, another day...soft footsteps.  gentle...cared for...
loved...
known.

1 comment:

Robin said...

I am just seeing all these wonderful posts -- well, I saw this one, but today I scrolled back further as I did not know you had written so much and just sent a link to a friend whose daughter died a few weeks ago, a woman about Sarah's age. So glad you are making the Exercises and hope for a wonderful adventure for you. XXXOOO as Karen always signs off!