Monday, March 24, 2008


So looking forward to heaven. So looking forward to knowing the truth that I only hope in now. Sometimes I wish to see just for one second into heaven to help me press this life out with the passion I feel so much of the time. It would be like being on the high ropes course--knowing if you fall, you will not hit the ground, but be caught by the harness--so you start to leap from tree to tree, knowing you are really safe.

I miss you Sarah. I miss you mom and dad and Nancy--and the others who are gone. The ones of us left here, are beginning to look ahead more and more with an anticipation that yearns for the homeland.

I went away for Easter this year to spend the time with my fiance' and his family. I needed to do a new thing. I missed my family, I missed Sarah, I missed being at my home church. It was ok. It was a new season. I wanted to be with Rick as he begins the transition to a new place. Many of the lasts for him, firsts for us. Time doesn't ever slow down, the second hand doesn't begin to move less purposefully. Life is always moving forward--to the end moment when Jesus does come back for us. So, to press on, press forward with that hope of eternity ahead, that incredible hope--the biggest hope. The one thing that will never disappoint. To be secure in that hope. To have surrendered to Him, all I have, all I hope to have---to trust you Lord. Ah, that is the best.

I am home now. Moved away from the close contact with grief. Made a decision to pursue Jesus and let him handle the grief. He is my hope, my answer. I will look to Him for the help to walk this all out. I sure miss my girl. That is for sure. Many miss her...she would want us to fix our eyes on Jesus--He is the hope she had, I have.

So many new changes coming. New life, a wonderful new man. It is exciting. God is so kind to me. So kind to him. It is a new season. ALmost 6 months this week since Sarah went to heaven. How did the time go by. . . so swiftly.

1 comment:

Marty said...

I find it interesting that you write... "the ones that are left here" when you write about those that are in Heaven. I love how our vision has changed. When we use to think of it as them who left us- poor them they don't get to be here anymore. Not sure I am making sense... but it struck me because now we are the ones that are left... they have gone to the party, we are still being made ready. YES... resurrection is what we are looking forward to... our hope of being with Jesus and all our loved ones forever!