Hi there, sweet girl...I toast to you today.  My sweet girl.  I remember this last time we were here...just enjoying time.  We took time, we made time to make memories.  I am so glad we lived that way--not waiting till....

I have so many memories today of you and your "Sarah" way of living--how totally wild and well you lived.  Burning the candle at not only both ends, but somehow in the middle too.  I didn't know how short your life would be and sometimes would tell you to slow down, take it easy and you would just laugh at me...and keep on living the way you did.  Now it makes  sense to me.  I am glad you didn't listen to me but to your own internal compass.

It is hard to believe 6 years have passed.

How in the world did I keep walking this out? 

How did Chris keep walking?  The friends and family...how?

I know that God is so good to us...present in our agony, our sorrow, to help us.  To help me....

Just having such a hope to see you in the next life, the one that doesn't end.  The one my heart sings for.
Today is somehow better for me, to get to the anniversary finally after weeks of remembering and agonizing all over again the terrible tragedy and all the events that shook our world.

I celebrate today-your sweet and tender life...you.

I love you sweet Sarah C. 

I miss you so...

Night before 6 years

So, here I am sitting here, listening to Jonathan Livingston Seagull...in my studio...alone right now...candles lit, glass of merlot.

Gosh, I just miss you so. Life has been so odd with you gone. How did 6 years go by?
So much I want to tell you about. How I wish you could have met Rick and seen our life....how happy you would be.
So much missed...

You are missed.

I remember so much sweet Sarah C.

moms remember so much. Part if our job. At least it always was my job...you always wanted a story. Always saying...tell me about.......

Wish I could tell you another sorry.

Listening to Be....I remember the time we watched this movie...and both of us said whoever dies first would play it at their funeral....so you got it. And how similar the movie is to even how you died. Who would have ever known...oh my, sweet girl. Sweet, sweet girl...

Almost 6 years.
God, how does one walk this whole journey out?

Some days, it just seems like I see you, some girl with long hair turns her head just like you did and flips up her hair and for a second I see you.

Then a laugh in the distance has a sound like yours and I turn my head...and it hits me all over again...

Some days it is just too much to keep on living.  But I do.

It can wreck your mind to imagine it all over again, so don't go there too long, yet I do.

just missing you.

Missing being in Manarola, wanting to sit quietly...watch the waves...

Words don't come as often now, yet they swirl all the time in my heart...waiting to come out.  So here are some, to lay on this page, for me to see in print.

Most days are not too bad, yet some days just are...

Today is one, near the time of this 6th anniversary.  Full moons, smells of decay in the air.  Crickets chirping...memories calling.

You were the absolute best.  My dearest friend.  My sweet Sarah C.