rainy day-lots of quietness in my heartlots of missing you. grief is quietness sometimes with no words and wild with many words at other times...tears and then no tears.
have had tears lately---soft falling off my face, loud unspoken wails in my heart...echoing against the walls...
long time since I touched your fingers---studying the way your fingers were like mine...your nails always so well kept.
you always cracked your knuckles and I would warn you that you would be sorry for how your hands would look and i was wrong...they looked so fine, so soft and so lovely...and they were so kind and so loving. you had a soft touch. i miss it. i miss how we would hold hands always when we drove together on trips....just did...always.
well, just a few words...seem they are all inside, just have a harder time writing them here lately...but they are there.
2 comments:
That rain was miserable, wasn't it?
I find that most of the time I don't believe it, that I have to live the rest of my life without my child -- sounds as if you may be in much the same place.
i really struggle when i think of it being the rest of my life...so try to stay in today these days...that is too much to bear. think alot about the kingdom more and more these days to see the magnitude of life in fullness. lots of ponderings in my heart. reading a powerful book right now by NT Wright---Surprised by Hope. Not sure if you have seen it yet....wow. think of you and the others who again see spring and color where some color has been erased in our lives. love to you.
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